反骨仔

近期特區領導人做的事幹真令人費解，先有「電燈膽捉蟲」，後有「副局長職位明益自己友」事件，特別後者令我這個小後輩看得有點不是味兒。

我當然不是公務員，更沒有當公僕服務市民的偉願。先不去解構事件背後或公或私的原因，我深信即使在公務員團隊裡，根正紅苗、愛黨多於愛國而經驗豐富的有為才俊大有人在, 不明白為何定要選一個已退休的人擔當此任。

早前拜讀了呂大樂教授的「四代香港人」，也推介給不少親友，讀過的對呂教授的見解都無存異疑。大慨大家都感嘆無論在工作上、社會上頭頂的「glass ceiling」，像降在孫悟空的緊砸咒一樣，牢不可破，砸也砸不掉。

我是典型的香港第三代人，成長於殖民地時代經濟收成期。父母輩在戰亂飢荒中逃難的經歷我不會了解，六十年代的理想主義運動我沒有經歷，我看到的只是所謂的理想是會被血淋淋地武力鎮壓，所謂的社會精英，立場比牆頭草轉得更快。雖不至於有傭人侍候的公主王子，至少我享有免費教育，衣食滿足，在上一輩眼中我是幸福的。

我們這一代人其實是很努力的，然而在第二代人眼裡我們永遠是不夠的，因我們的成就永遠不會超越他們。他們的年代只要肯努力，連一個小小的正稿員也可月入數萬，現在拿同樣薪酬大慨成為不景氣下被裁走的大熱。我們沒有火紅年代, 只有被填鴨歲月。我們從小被教育要服從，不要懷疑，所以我們樂意跟從前輩定下來的遊戲規則，甚至孜孜不倦協助他們製定鞏固其利益的環境。在現今樓價高企，生活指數超高的時代，我們大慨不會相信理想，更不會相信將來, 因為我們的將來是前代製定的，我們無能力改變；我們也不會質疑，所以不需要思想。我們只能相信直接實在、現成即時的官能式享樂消費主義。

我們沉迷電玩遊戲、名牌衣履、新型電子產品，最愛讀消費式八卦書刊，最愛看有女人打架的爭產劇或揭人瘡疤的新聞，所以我們可以義無反顧地聲討一個與自己無關係的人, 因為我們最希望見到有人比自己更潦倒。如果要找一個屬於我們這世代的建樹，也許就是把這種實實在在的人性陰暗面發揚光大吧。

想起LMF一首舊歌「反骨仔」，大剌剌的像是諷刺著我們這些新一代的香港人，連屁都不敢放，甘心請願被上一代人看不起。

從文明到野蠻

今屆的諾貝爾物理學獎由「光纖之父」高錕教授奪得, 不僅表揚其互聯網發展的貢獻, 也肯定了互聯網在人類文明發展的革命性改變。然而當我們為高教授高興之餘, 可有想過我們其實正走著一個與有形文明進步的相反方向?

互聯網在溝通上的便捷眾所周知, 彼此不用見面也可以隨時隨地談天說地, 分享喜好。甚至素未謀面的人也可通過一些社交網站互相認識, 真正的體現「天涯若比鄰」。然而在這種不現真身的交流中, 是否意味著彼此就可以不負責任, 不理後果的為所欲為?

藝人淫照和快餐店短片，我們可以邊駡邊看；不誠實的售貨員, 我們就將他的身份公諸於世吧；陳巧文、三萬月薪港女及那個的面盆女, 老子看了就是討厭！放過她們？聲討還嫌不夠呢！雖恨不得有「跪玻璃」酷刑來懲罰這些大 言不慚、自大狂妄的人，但至少也要令她們倒霉吧？否則難洩心頭不快呀！大家又不會見面，更不會知彼此是誰。包容？尊重？禮貌？還需要嗎？

原來我們在真實世界中才是虛偽的。

二千年前的耶穌在以色列救了一個犯了通姦罪而應被石頭打死的婦人。如果時空轉到二千年後的本地網路中, 通姦的婦人大慨救不了, 恐怕連耶稣也會被砸死。

Viva La Diva: Frida Kahlo

I knew Frida Kahlo during a video-showing session at college. The girl sit next to me cried so badly as the tape rolled, that her sobs almost covered the video's narration. Indeed Frida's misfortune isn't something that most common people like us who are brought up healthily could imagine.

Born with a congenital problem and later contracted with polio at her childhood, Frida's road was already doomed with hindrance. As if that wasn't enough, she was severely injured in a streetcar accident at the age of 18, from which she not only lost her childbearing ability but was plagued by relapses of extreme pain for the rest of her life. She quitted school and began her painting career since her stay at the hospital.

Freda Kahlo's works has never been one of my best picks though. Her expressiveness and the vivid coloured portraits of sadness and pain do deeply nailed in my memory. As a Mexican, her paintings reflects a lot her originality with her frequent use of skulls and exotic animals in the Mexican mythology in terms of intense, saturated colours and dramatic symbolism, and at the same time reveal her physical and psychological wounds (from her miscarriages and constantly tensed relationship with her husband).

It is interesting that not only the Mexican influence, there is also a HInayana essence in Frida's paintings. Many of her works, especially her self-portraits, are having the composition that resembles those of the Tibetian tangkas. Perhaps it was her unique curriculum vitae that made her develop a much stronger desire to liberate herself than ordinary people do.

From her paintings, one could see Frida's even the deepest feelings revealed daringly without reservation. As André Breton, the renowed surrealist theorist in the last century, commented Frida's works as "a ribbon around a bombshell", Frida herself insisted, "I never painted dreams. I painted my own reality." A man may never understand how miscarriages and the husband's betrayal could impact a woman. Her promiscuous affairs might be an antiseptic for her loneliness and pain. She was only crying out through her works with a normal woman's emotion and sensitivity.


Photo: The Love Embrace of the Universe, the Earth (Mexico), Diego, Me, and Senor Xolotl. 1949